Leading an Intentional Marriage

Every successful marriage I have witnessed has had one key thing in common. Communication. This is not a glass shattering statement, but it is something that can take a good or even a seemingly great relationship and make it amazing.

Marriage is one of the bonds that God has created with a special intention.

This bond is one that deserves the upmost care and attention. I know how easy it can be when you are a parent to sometimes let your relationship sit on the back burner while you are busy trying to make sure that your kids have everything necessary to thrive. But in order to make sure our family’s needs are being met, we have to make sure that the main relationship in our family is being cared for with intention.

If I have learned anything from my marriage and my relationship with Josh these last few years, it has been that it is ABSOLUTELY necessary to communicate our needs to one another without fear. When it comes down to it, it is not about what either of our reactions will be to what the other has to say, but instead moving past that in order to really listen to what the other person is trying to convey.

Marriage is about being able to be completely vulnerable, understanding, and loving towards the other person. We all make mistakes and stumble, but in marriage, those moments when one of us stumbles, the other is there to help us back up. I am not a perfect wife, and marriage has been the most rewarding learning experience I have gone through. Josh continually teaches me patience, kindness, and understanding, which helps me see God reflected through him.

I remember hearing about a practice to do when you are with someone in a very serious relationship and you can see a future with them. Putting their names in the place of the word ‘Love’ in the verse 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. “Love is patient, Love is kind, …” Now in marriage, rather than putting Josh’s name in the place of ‘Love’, I try to put my own. “Veronica is patient, Veronica is kind, …” In all honesty, most of the time I find myself falling short of the virtues I should be working harder towards in my marriage. But this is not a practice I go through in order to make myself feel like a bad wife, but instead I do it because my goal in my marriage is to constantly be growing and becoming better as a wife to my husband.

It is our job as a spouse to be working and growing to become the best versions of ourselves in order to be the best partner to our spouse. This cannot fall on just one person, or else in the end the relationship will collapse.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself and your partner that can help strengthen your relationship together:

Has there been anything between us that has made you feel disrespected or unloved?

What have I done recently that has made you feel truly appreciated/ loved?

Have I recently been serving both you and God well, or has my focus been elsewhere?

What is something that you think we would both benefit from doing together?

Do you feel like we make enough time to just enjoy each others company?

Have I made you feel attractive recently, and if so, how?

Marriage is not perfect, simply because we are all not perfect. We were not made to be. But we were made in God’s image, and since God is perfect, we were meant to constantly be growing and learning to be better versions of ourselves. Marriage is no exception to that growth.

Marriage is an amazing journey that we get to embark on, but even better, it is a journey we get to embark on with our best friend and partner. It is a beautiful relationship with a love that runs deeper than any other, and we have to try to always remember to live it intentionally.

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